Mentioned by Family Members
Last update March 2, 2002
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Usually, Al's theories about life are weird or even ridiculous, but sometimes his statements explain
basic rules which keep the Bundy family together. There are also other principles of the family mentioned
in shorter declarations of Bundy bunch members.
Al about Refusing Sex to his Wife at the End of "Thinnergy" (102)
Oh honey, that again. Come here a second will ya, let me tell you something.
Now just 'cause I don't go to bed with you, doesn't mean I don't love ya.
I mean, let's face it, even if you were beautiful - like that girl on TV -
I'd still ignore ya. 'Cause your my wife!
[Peggy looks shocked.]
Don't stiffen on me Peg - let me tell ya what I mean.
Remember that old baseball glove my dad gave me when I was a little kid?
I loved that glove. Yeah it's old and the webs loose, but, it's special to me.
That's how I feel about you Peg.
I may not tell you all the time but - I love you. I wouldn't do ANYTHING
to change you, I think you're great just the way you are.
[Al and Peg kiss.]
So's my glove. I'll have to take it out more often and play catch with Bud.
[Peggy caresses Al's neck.]
Oh, I like that, Oh that feels good. Hey! Remember the American league play-offs last year?
You know, a lot of fly-balls were poppin' outta gloves, for a home runs.
I think it's 'cause the modern gloves are too big. It never would have happened
to Willie Mays, Know why? Willie had a small glove, just like mine.
[Al turns off the light and hugs Peg.]
Peggy about her affection for Al in "He Ain't Much But He's Mine" (305)
Peggy: What if he is cheating on me?
Marcy: Stand by your man - in court! Take him for everything and get yourself another man. A real man.
Peggy: I don't want a real man. I want Al!
Peggy: Oh I don't know . Have you ever had a pair of old shoes? They're boring and ugly and stink to
high heaven. But they're yours, you know? They're worn down and broken in and... and when you put 'em on
it feels like there's nothing there, hahaha. That's my Al.
Al about Being A Loser at the End of "He Thought He Could" (302)
Al to Mrs. De Groot:
"So you think I'm a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I
hate, a family that doesn't respect me, a whole city that curses the day
I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you
something. Every morning when I wake up, I know it's not going to get
any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered
down Tang and still-frozen Pop Tart, get in my car with no upholstery,
no gas and six more payments to fight traffic just for the privilege of
putting cheap shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never
play football like I thought I would, I'll never know the touch of a
beautiful woman, and I'll never again know the joy of driving without a
bag on my head. But I'm not a loser. 'Cause despite it all, me and
every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be, are still out
there, being what we don't wanna be, forty hours a week, for life. And
the fact that I haven't put a gun to my mouth, you pudding of a woman,
makes me a winner!"
Al Much Shorter about the Same Issue in "Yard Sale" (423)
Al to Kelly: "A Bundy never wins, but a Bundy never quits."
Al Even Shorter about the Same Issue in "Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anymore" (708)
Al to Kelly: "Bundys are losers, not quitters."
Al about Revenge in "What Goes Around Comes Around" (418)
Al to Bud: "Revenge is great. It's phenomenal! It's the only thing that separates us from the animals.
It's why I stay with your mother."
Al about Love in "Al... with Kelly" (501)
Al to Kelly: "Love, hate... look, we're a family, what's the difference?"
Al & Peg about Love in "The Godfather" (514)
Al to Kelly: "... we don't believe in love!"
Peggy: "That's because our marriage works.
Al about Lying in "The Wedding Repercussions" (725)
Al to Bud: "The Bundys' proud name was built on a philosophy of lying. Well, lying, owing money and perhaps beer.
Yes, lying, owing money and beer. The only thing that separates us from the Kennedys is that they have money."
Al about Women in "Get Outta Dodge" (817)
Al to Bud: "Women... can't live with'em... the end!"
Al in 311:: "We don't eat vegetables."
Al in 313: "When one of us is embarrassed, the rest of us feel better about ourselves."
Al in 423: "A Bundy never wins, but a Bundy never quits."
Bud in 423: "A Bundy never eats."
Kelly in 423: "A Bundy never learns."
Bud in 423: "A Bundy never cares."
Kelly in 423: "A Bundy never dies."
Peggy in 617: "We don't call the cops. They call the cops on us!"
Al in 725: "Lie if your wife is awaking. Lie if your belly is aching. Lie if you think she's faking.
Lie, sell shoes, lie."
Al in 725: "Hooters, hooters, yum, yum, yum. Hooters, hooters on a girl that's dumb."
Al in 420: "It's what keeps us from being happy. There's no point in fighting. It's what seperates us from the
ordinary losers. They can have their moments, but not us. Never us. (...) Your mother is just a Bundy by marriage.
She's part of the curse. But we are blood Bundys. We are truly doomed."
Peg in 804: "The foot odor thing."
Al in 804: "The minute a Bundy has good luck he immediately starts building up an equal amount of bad luck."
Thanks a lot to StuartM, Christian Zelger, Jeffery J. Leader, Tom Breton and "Ade Bundy".
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© Andreas Carl 1998